Little Rays Of Light Over my lifetime I have had little rays of light, or truth, or inspiration, whatever you want to call it, come into my life and teach me, just when I needed it most. One such time happened sometime in my first or second year of college at Utah State University many, many years ago. A little background is needed here. My family moved to a new area when I started 5th grade. Our new to us house in West Valley was larger than our old small bungalow in Salt Lake City, and we met many wonderful people in our new neighborhood and ward. Some, I was to learn, were not very nice, however. I was a little socially awkward in 5th grade, but hey, who isn't? There was a group of three or four girls in my school classes that decided it was their job to make my life miserable. I had an overbite, or buck teeth as they called it, at the time, and my family didn't have a lot of money, so more often than not, my pants were too short. A dreaded phenomenon known in those days as "flood pants". To add insult to injury, these girls were also in my Merrie Miss Primary class that met each Tuesday. (If that doesn't date me, I don't know what will!) Luckily, I had a strong testimony that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was the true, restored Gospel on the earth, or I would have had every reason to stop attending. To make a long story short, this bullying continued on into Junior High, and my spirit was beginning to reach its breaking point. Mercifully at that time, our ward boundaries were realigned and my new Young Women's leader took a special interest in me and taught me that I was truly a lovable person. Something that by that point I certainly knew I was not. The teasing faded away as we grew older, but not the feelings that I was less worthy than other people. Back to Utah State, one day I was walking across campus from the Fine Arts building to the Institute, a trek I made several times a week. A couple of people were talking and laughing behind me, and those old familiar hauntings all came rushing back, "They're talking about you! There's something wrong with you!" Suddenly, a voice came to my mind, "You're not that important!" I remember thinking that was a little bit harsh. But that spiritual insight got me thinking: I really am not so important that everyone who is around me is noticing me, let alone talking or laughing at me. That epiphany was a turning point in my life. I no longer felt those same old feelings nagging at me. Years of being emotionally and spiritually scarred were healed in that instant, and I will be eternally grateful for the words, "You're not that important!" I want to use this blog to share other spiritual insights that I have had over the years. Most are not earth-shattering, just little spiritual rays of light that have come into my life just when I needed them. Now that I am working on my second half century, I felt I would be ungrateful if I didn’t share them. I have written many of my insights in the form of poetry which I hope you don't mind me sharing here. The thought that something I have written could be of help to someone else brings me great joy. Lori Anne Bolan

Little Rays Of Light

Over my lifetime I have had little rays of light, or truth, or inspiration, whatever you want to call it, come into my life and teach me, just when I needed it most.

One such time happened sometime in my first or second year of college at Utah State University many, many years ago.  A little background is needed here. 

My family moved to a new area when I started 5th grade. Our new to us house in West Valley was larger than our old small bungalow in Salt Lake City, and we met many wonderful people in our new neighborhood and ward. Some, I was to learn, were not very nice, however.

I was a little socially awkward in 5th grade, but hey, who isn't? There was a group of three or four girls in my school classes that decided it was their job to make my life miserable. I had an overbite, or buck teeth as they called it, at the time, and my family didn't have a lot of money, so more often than not, my pants were too short. A dreaded phenomenon known in those days as "flood pants".

To add insult to injury, these girls were also in my Merrie Miss Primary class that met each Tuesday. (If that doesn't date me, I don't know what will!) Luckily, I had a strong testimony that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was the true, restored Gospel on the earth, or I would have had every reason to stop attending.

To make a long story short, this bullying continued on into Junior High, and my spirit was beginning to reach its breaking point. Mercifully at that time, our ward boundaries were realigned and my new Young Women's leader took a special interest in me and taught me that I was truly a lovable person.  Something that by that point I certainly knew I was not. The teasing faded away as we grew older, but not the feelings that I was less worthy than other people.

  

Back to Utah State, one day I was walking across campus from the Fine Arts building to the Institute, a trek I made several times a week. A couple of people were talking and laughing behind me, and those old familiar hauntings all came rushing back, "They're talking about you! There's something wrong with you!" 

Suddenly, a voice came to my mind, "You're not that important!" I remember thinking that was a little bit harsh. But that spiritual insight got me thinking:  I really am not so important that everyone who is around me is noticing me, let alone talking or laughing at me. That epiphany was a turning point in my life. I no longer felt those same old feelings nagging at me. Years of being emotionally and spiritually scarred were healed in that instant, and I will be eternally grateful for the words, "You're not that important!"

I want to use this blog to share other spiritual insights that I have had over the years. Most are not earth-shattering, just little spiritual rays of light that have come into my life just when I needed them. Now that I am working on my second half century, I felt I would be ungrateful if I didn’t share them. I have written many of my insights in the form of poetry which I hope you don't mind me sharing here. The thought that something I have written could be of help to someone else brings me great joy.

Lori Anne Bolan